Held by Grace: A Waiting Woman's Story of Faith and Patience

“Was I going to trust God and the promises He had spoken over my life, or would I surrender to fear simply because I was weary from the wait?”

The Season of Waiting

I posed this question to myself as I sat alone in the car, tears streaming down my face after making the difficult decision to firmly close the door on a budding relationship. Deep down, I knew I had done the right thing. I had chosen obedience over impulse, discernment over desire. But it still hurts.

In that moment, the choice wasn’t just between faith and fear—it was between believing that God’s silence still carried purpose, or letting delay convince me He had forgotten. Waiting tests the soul, but it also reveals what anchors it.

I wasn’t grieving the loss of the person—not really. We had only just met while I was on vacation. What I mourned was the idea of him. The possibility. The flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, this was the companionship I had longed for. I cried for the ache of waiting, for the longing that still lingered, and for the part of me that wondered how much longer I’d have to keep choosing faith over fleeting comfort.

Earlier that morning, I felt a heavy conviction that hadn’t left me since the first time we met. After our conversation the night before, I asked myself why I was still entertaining something God had clearly spoken against. Despite my objections, he insisted we “try,” and my heart was left troubled.

Lessons Learned in Silence

I woke up with the song “I Give Myself Away” stirring in my spirit. As I listened, tears fell—hot and honest—as clarity came in the quiet. I didn’t want to end things over text, but previous attempts by phone and in person hadn’t worked. So I prayed that God would give me the words, and him the heart to receive them.

And God did just that. We ended things peacefully. But even then, my heart wasn’t at rest.

As I sat weeping in the car, I remembered this wasn’t the first time I had to walk away from something that wasn’t God’s best. I’ve had to deny my desires before, trusting His will and believing that letting go was actually His protection. This time, I ended it earlier—it made the release easier, but not painless.

All I wanted was to love and be loved. I never thought marriage was part of my story, but in 2020, God confirmed it through visions, dreams, and words that gave me hope. Still, these six years of waiting have been marked by saying no to counterfeits, finding the strength to remain abstinent, battling spiritual warfare, and facing the ache of deferred hope.  It was truly a process of denying the flesh and dying to self.

A process that has developed within me self-control, patience, and a persevering faith to stand on His promises no matter what. Numbers 23:19, “ God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

Grace in the Unseen

I have felt misunderstood and sometimes mocked by others for continuing to believe in God’s promises and not to settle. I have faced the pressure of age and societal standards. I have dealt with the creeping temptation to compare. I have even made mistakes along the way that made me feel like I no longer deserved the spouse that God has for me. However, time and time again, I have experienced a strength that has renewed me as I wait, faithfulness that has shielded me, and grace that has sustained me throughout this journey.

If you find yourself in a season of waiting, you’re not alone in that wrestle. Abraham waited decades. Hannah wept through years of longing. David was anointed long before he was crowned. And yet, each of their stories became proof that delay is not denial—it’s preparation.

Preparation isn’t passive—it’s sacred. It’s the kind of refining that asks you to lay down your own timeline, your own comfort, and even your own understanding. It’s a sacrifice. It’s denying yourself daily, choosing instead to put God and His will first. It’s trusting that when you submit to the process—even when it’s long, lonely, or unclear—He is shaping you for the very thing He promised.

Just as Matthew 6:33 reminds us: “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” The wait isn’t wasted. It’s where desire meets devotion, and where God prepares the heart to receive what He’s always intended to give.

I want to end with a short prayer for you:

Father, I thank you for the person who has come to the end of this blog who is reading this prayer. I pray that as they continue to trust in you in this season of waiting, whether it’s for a spouse or something else, that you will renew their strength.  

I pray that you will comfort every heart that is longing and restore hope that was lost. A desire fulfilled is like a tree of life. God, I believe that you are fulfilling the desires of their hearts right now, and I am rejoicing with them, as joy overflows them.

Lord, I thank you for keeping them this far. Eyes have not seen and ears have not heard the kind of blessings and marriages that you have in store for them. You are faithful to perform your Word. What you have started in them will be completed.

All those who will see will glorify you, God, for what you have done in their lives. I pray that they will know how much they are loved and seen by you. They are not forgotten or unlovable. Your timing is perfect, and you are orchestrating the best for them, and they will say, ‘It was worth the waiting, in Jesus' victorious name, Amen!

Comment if you’d like me to do a series and share some more of my experiences and things that I’ve learned in this season of waiting!

I also have a book out called “Beautiful in Its Time: Finding My True Identity.” Click the link here.