Life on Pursuit

I've never truly been in love, but I've fallen for the idea of it. I've always used my mind rather than my heart in relationships—being drawn to the concept of the person and convincing my heart to follow. I never really understood why I did this. Maybe I believed no one else would love me, so I should take what I could get, or perhaps it stemmed from a lesson my mother taught me long ago: to be with someone who loved me more than I loved them. Or maybe I was just incapable of loving someone that way. Whatever the reason, I knew there was a deeper root to uncover, and I realized it was tied to my sense of self-worth. A long time ago, I believed the lie that I didn't deserve love. I had no idea where this belief came from, but it contradicted every declaration of love for me in the Word of God . That lie lingered for years, and I truly thought I would never experience love or get married. I don't think I even fully understood Christ's love for me, but it was a se...

“Was I going to trust God and the promises He had spoken over my life, or would I surrender to fear simply because I was weary from the wait?” The Season of Waiting I posed this question to myself as I sat alone in the car, tears streaming down my face after making the difficult decision to firmly close the door on a budding relationship. Deep down, I knew I had done the right thing. I had chosen obedience over impulse, discernment over desire. But it still hurts. In that moment, the choice wasn’t just between faith and fear—it was between believing that God’s silence still carried purpose, or letting delay convince me He had forgotten. Waiting tests the soul, but it also reveals what anchors it. I wasn’t grieving the loss of the person—not really. We had only just met while I was on vacation. What I mourned was the idea of him. The possibility. The flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, this was the companionship I had longed for. I cried for the ache of waiting, for the longing tha...